Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
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