Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
You left me with no money to have random Chicago sex. The least you can do is pick me up an egg mcmuffin on your walk of shame back to the hotel.
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Randomize
