It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
Apparently "Do you want me to ruin your day now or later?" is not a good way to tell someone you're pregnant and it's theirs.
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
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