Are we in a gay sports bar?
so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
Look. If you get me out of this speeding ticket you can bang my sister. Or my mom. But not both.
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
Randomize
