He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
Randomize