I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
i was born a porn star she said
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
Randomize
