I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
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