I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
I am getting my wife a tattoo just above her butthole that says, "For entry just add tequila."
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
Randomize
