So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
i really thought "pants-shitting drunk" was an unreachable level until last night
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
i woke up with toilet paper straight tucked up in my underwear wearing a pizza sauce mustach. I dont think i got laid last night.
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
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