Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
My phone autocorrects "pooping" to "popping" and I'm like DO YOU EVEN KNOW ME??!
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
Randomize
