id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
Randomize
