Midget sex pt 2 tonight
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
Randomize
