Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
We have a vodka soaked ShamWow with your name on it.
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
Randomize
