i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
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