best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
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