marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
Randomize
