it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
wow bdsm is so cute
The gate guard just said to me, "I almost didn't recognize you in uniform. Welcome back." I think I need to lay off the booze.
Randomize