I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Randomize
