dude I went to cubs game with my mustache, aviators, and a hooded sweatshirt. Do you think it was irony or fate that there were four 17 year old girls in front of us?
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
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