Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
Randomize
