I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
Trouble in the neighborhood - turns out my brother's summer lawn care gig also entailed banging three different MILFs and they just all found out about each other
Gotta pay for college somehow...
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