I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
Shitshow foam night was such a success
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
Randomize