He just told me he would murder a thousand dolphins to be with me. Quite the charmer.
My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
It's shark week go big or go home
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
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