Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Randomize
