dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
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