in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey
My pussy is not your playground.
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
A university police officer just hhigh fived me when i drunkenly stumbled into Aderhold. Fucking 5 o'clock somewhere.ITS IN CASABLANCA RIGHT NOW! TIME ZONES!
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
Apparently I send drunk snapchats a lot and they always have random dudes in them. Like one night it was just me and some guy I don't know sitting on my couch.
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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