He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
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