Kicked off drink for Jesus month by puking in my mouth while talking to my priest...real cool
ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
I'm sorry I kept calling last night when you wouldn't pick up. I'm REALLY sorry I sang "You Oughta Know" on more than 4 voice mails.
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
The Olympian is in my bed
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
How’s your Christmas Eve so far?
I just chased my melatonin with red wine. It’s 12:00pm.
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