nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
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