Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
who knew "i drink your milkshake" would work as a pickup line
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
Randomize
