Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
There's a naked man in my car right now.
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
Randomize
