tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
Randomize
