i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
Randomize
