Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
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