You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
Randomize
