I'm so drunk I cant read cursive anymore.
time to smoke my breakfast
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
Randomize
