She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
We need to get me chipped asap
Randomize
