Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
Randomize
