Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
I kiss like a newly born barfing kangaroo
Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
I just referred to our excessive fireball consumption as a team building exercise and everyone in group text agreed.
We're not alcoholics, we're a god damn team.
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
