SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
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