How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
Every time I burp I plan an escape route because I'm scared I'm gonna puke on grandma
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
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