i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
Randomize
