Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
should my penis look like a turkey
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
I feel like people expect me to always be a sarcastic, shade throwing drunk. And you know me, I hate to disappoint.
Randomize
