Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
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