you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
Randomize
