Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
Randomize
