I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
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