She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
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