it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
What part of “the stripper has a gun, we need to leave” is confusing you? She’s drunk, she’s fucking crazy and NOW SHE’S PACKING HEAT!
Randomize
