Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
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