So... My dad just saw the Plan B package and the beer cans in my backseat.
Oh its cool I'm sure he already knows you're a whore and an alcoholic.
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
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