What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
I've got enough liquor to do one of two things on Friday: 1.) Drink myself into a coma or 2.) lay in bed a drunk and cry lonely mess. Happy Valentines Day.
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
Randomize
