What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
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