girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
Randomize
