Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
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