This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
I would literally rather jam a rusty rail road spike into my cock than be here right now. The whore showed up and now I might smash my iPhone into my face repeatedly until I'm no longer consisting of any sort of life.
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
Randomize
