My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
Dear yesterdays makeup, Thank you for always being there when I stay up late binge drinking on weeknights and am running late to work Friday morning. You're the best.
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
Randomize
