Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
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